Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
