yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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