Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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