i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
