Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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