My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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