I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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