were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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