you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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