i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I made him laugh his dick is mine
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know her cup size but not her name....
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