i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
