the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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