Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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