I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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