why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
