Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
