I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
