he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
