She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize