she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just googled if crying burns calories
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
