Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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