I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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