They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
