I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
