What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
