Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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