i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
