Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize