if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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