Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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