I just threw up on my dentist
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
