I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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