sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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