i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
