there was a trapeze. enough said
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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