margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She even gives head with a lisp.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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