i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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