you turned your livingroom into a bong?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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