I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Houston, we have a blender
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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