My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
