if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize