i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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