I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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