Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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