Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.