Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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