she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
