I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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