By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
