I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
