My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
