Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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