Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize