I wish I only lived at night.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
