everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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