I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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