i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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