Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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