Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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