I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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