Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
