He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
