I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got inside last night via doggy door
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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