well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize
