we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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