someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize