dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
